Sunday, November 17, 2013

Diet Diaries- Update 17- Kill the negativity!

Hey Guys!

Hope you are all well!

This post is a few days late, but better late than never right?

If you have been following my journey, you know what I have been through these past couple of months, but if you haven't check out my posts from the very beginning here:

If you have missed my last update, simple, just click here:

Today's post format will be a little different. Since I am writing about this days after my weigh in, I will first share with you my results and then write my oh so insightful verging on rant :p

These past two weeks have been very very hectic, in fact I have had circumstances were I barely ate, then ended up consuming sugary treats in order to make up for that.

As you can see my weight did go down, I am actually at my first target weight but as you know, if you have been following, this has been changed to 55 kilos so it's officially 2 kilos to go!! My inches unfortunately and fortunately (I will tell you why later) stay the same!

These past two weeks have been a little hard. I really feel cold during winter so I am constantly consuming tea. I have this nasty habit of wanting biscuits with my tea, something which I find quite nurturing. I am going to be completely honest with you, I have been consuming quite a number of biscuits lately, something which I think has affected my weight, then again, you do come to a point where you start losing weight much slower!

Apart from that, I had done a decision of having my diet mapped out for me. These past 2 updates, I have literally not referred to that paper even once! For some reason, I feel that I have come to a point were I have taught myself how I should eat and that I do not need to stick to a diet because I will probably not lose my last 2 kilos.

I also discussed this with Marika and she told me that I have come such a long way that she feels that I do not need to stick to a planned out diet! 

Apart from that she asked me to do a little exercise so that I feel exactly how I did a few months ago. She asked me to carry something which is 16 kilos or lie on the bed and place them on my stomach and feel that weight pushing down on me. Yesterday I grabbed a few weights we had lying around at home, 15 kilos to be exact and I lifted them up to see what she was talking about. When I lifted them I obviously felt bothered with having to lift that extra weight. 

The scope of this exercise was so that I can really see what I have lost and to feel how I used to feel at the beginning of this journey. It showed me how much that excess weight was putting me down and believe me, now I can truly see the fruits of my labour. 

At times we don't see something good, we always focus on the negative, in fact, at times I do not see a thin person in the mirror, I am still not used to the fact that I have lost a ton of weight. The only way I actually see it is when I see before and after pictures which at times I don't even believe.

Another thing which I wrote before was regarding my inches and I purposely wrote the word fortunately. At times I do get frustrated that certain clothes look huge on me. I have come to a state were my winter wardrobe is practically non-existent since many of my clothes are highly unflattering now! Some of you may say, why in God's name are you complaining, you finally have the figure you wanted. Well... I am not actually complaining, but a part of me does get bummed about certain pieces of clothes, mind you other clothes which I have always been wanting to wear are finally fitting right!

Today's post was probably more a rant regarding me, but at times you do need to stop and take a good look at yourself and dig deep into what you are feeling, so I needed a me post ;-)

That doesn't mean I won't throw in some words of advice. 

At the beginning of this chapter, a bit before I hit the Start button, I went through a lot of thoughts like, will I succeed or feel like a failure once more? will I have to change my complete wardrobe? will I actually look good thinner? etc etc

Something I have realised along this process is that sometimes we all make excuses, why? Because we are comfortable and we are afraid of change... human nature! 

Something I say to people who talk to me about this is STOP MAKING EXCUSES... if you are talking about this topic, it is because deep down inside, you are not happy. I am not telling you, hey you need to lose weight to be happy, no! But if something is making you feel bad about yourself, one thing I have learnt, especially during 2013 is that if something is truly making you feel miserable, all you need to do is cut the chord! 

Be strong, have faith and believe in yourself! And eliminate that little person inside of you that keeps telling you that you will fail and remember these well put lyrics:

"I got the eye of the tiger, a fighter, dancing through the fire
'Cause I am a champoin and you're gonna hear me roar!"

Martina XOXO

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